About a week ago I felt myself needing a good cry. My period had come and gone without the occurrence of my usual PMS related emotional breakdown that helps rid my body of any bottled up emotions from the previous month. I really enjoy the overwhelming emotional experience even when if it creeps up on me and can be sparked by the slightest incident that under normal circumstances would never trigger any emotion; sometimes a silly commercial can even get the water works going during that time of month. So, for some reason my cry did not come last month and that’s when I had to resort to finding a way to trigger that untapped reservoir of emotion to flush my system. I reached out to greenqueenjb, Maxim Hygiene’s biggest movie buff, to recommend a movie that she thought would help get me going. When she recommended “The Last Song,” I had no idea it was going to feature Miley Cyrus, so when I ordered the movie from netflix and saw Miley pop up on the screen, I nearly reached for the stop button (sorry Cyrus fans) but I’m really glad I didn’t because not only did it get me bawling but it got me thinking about me and my dad. Please be warned that if you plan on watching the movie, I’m about to ruin the storyline so if you’re like me and hate when someone spoils a movie, stop reading and rent the movie now or skip down to the last paragraph.
In the movie, Cyrus’ character Ronnie plays the role of a rebellious teen sent to spend the summer with her father in a beautiful summer beach town on the water. Ronnie holds some resentment towards her father for divorcing her mother and to make a point of it she stops playing the piano, a shared pastime between her and her father. After falling in love with the most desirable boy from the beach town and realizing she’s losing her father to cancer, Ronnie is inspired to start playing the piano again, making her ultimate public comeback in a musical tribute to her father at his funeral, playing a song he had wrote for her during his last days of life.
You see, Ronnie’s father knew he was sick and dying when he asked Ronnie and her brother to come stay with him for the Summer. When Ronnie
realized this, she let go of her resentment and spent the last few weeks of her father’s life catching up on lost time with him. The moment in which I was waiting for, the release of emotion I was looking for, came in the tragedy of realizing Ronnie’s mistake, waiting to mend her relationship with her father until something went terribly wrong.
This father’s day I suggest we try to let go of any resentment we might have towards our fathers and spend time getting to know them instead. Lucky for me, I had the opportunity to clear most of my resentment with my father about six years ago when my parents invited me to join them on a spiritual retreat. They’ve been a part of a spiritual group for as long as I could remember. As much as I respect that now, when I was a teen like Ronnie, in addition to other things, their were times when I resented them for being a part of their group because as a teen growing up where I grew up it wasn’t always cool to be spiritual and like most teens all I wanted to be was cool. My parents asked me for years to join them on one of their retreats and I would always respond with a big fat no, but I finally caved one day and I’m glad I did because after that weekend my relationship with my dad was new, vibrant and free from resentment. Like Ronnie, as a teen I had some resentment towards my dad. I’m not sure if all teens do but I did for reasons that don’t really matter. The weekend away with my father let me see him in a light I had never seen him in before; a light that left no room from resentment. With one crying session, many conversations and endless hugs, my dad and I finally understood each other and began to love each other in ways I could have never imagined; so much so, that I actually joined him on this venture of creating the Maxim Hygiene brand. You can read more about our story on our website. Now I’m not going to lie, ever since we started working together, there are new sources of resentment, but the power of that one weekend allows us to continually work on them and know just how much we care about each other no matter what. I’ll never forget our weekend and breakthrough from resentment; it’s priceless and worth more than any present you might have given your father this father’s day. So although this designated day of the year might be coming to an end, know that you can always have a conversation with your father that might just leave every day of the year feeling a lot more joyful and free!