I’m hurt, and a great sharpness pains
My mind, as though I had stubbed my big toe,
Or been struck with lightning through my soul.
In a minute, I was rolling on the floor squealing,
“Pity! Pity me! I could hardly see!”
I had kicked the foot of my bed in the drowsy throes
Of amidnightsnack, too tired to think
Too tired to see, too tired to blink,
I really stubbed my big toe.
It was too late to scream.
It was too late to be a dream…
Broken? Could it be? I thought all was lost.
I limped for the light in the cold, dark night
But tripped over some kind of cloth.
Ensnared by a wild beast, I jammed my other big toe
And bruised my elbow.
“What else could go wrong?” I sorrowfully wept.
I hoped for nothing, as I slowly crept,
Towards the switch that could save me
From becoming a toeless amputee.
Right and left, big toes both,
I was knocking at the door of death.
“Owwwwwwww,” quoth I,
“I hope my big toe is fine.”
When I finally hit the switch, and my sight returned,
I felt like Prometheus, a growing fern.
Sitting on the floor with my feet in my hands,
I couldn’t think of anything funnier than
The sad, faltering groan that I let forth.
And, with a laugh, I sighed and knew
My toes would be okay
Except a bit black and blue.